Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
