Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
