1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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