I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
