I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
