fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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