don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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