Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
