i dedicated my morning wood to you.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
