I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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