I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
You're a waste of cheezeits
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
