I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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