Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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