I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
