The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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