I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
