I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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