He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
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