your room smells of hookers.
And success
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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