i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Do you remember whose house we're in?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
