Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
