you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
