were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Randomize
