can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
wow bdsm is so cute
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