You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
