Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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