Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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