3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
