I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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