Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
