just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
