She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i just made my gag reflex go away.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
