He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
