In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
