jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
