he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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