Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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