you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
