So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
