How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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