I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
