The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize