Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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