My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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