Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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