Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
3 2 1 whiskey
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
