Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
My butt remains clenched, sir.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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