Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
drinking out of a sandbucket again
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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