there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
