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I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
